Yesterday when I got into an argument with my husband, he left for the office without resolving or discussing the issue. Neither he gave me a call nor I tried to speak to him. This situation forced me to dwell upon the root cause. What was it, could not remember exactly, all I remember was that I had a conflict with my husband. Are these conflicts good or bad for a relationship. Does a conflict weaken or strengthen a relationship?....
What I have learnt after so many years is, conflict is part of every relationship but not necessarily always bad . Many times, a conflict can be productive and increases closeness between the two. Most of us try to neglect a conflict assuming that over a period of time things will be sorted out but without handling the issues properly , it may increase the bitterness and can lead to disastrous results. Sometime, one partner is always willing to bend down to keep the other happy, that will eventually leave a negative impact.The best way to deal a conflict is to talk about it instead of running away from it. Most of the conflicts happens because both the partners think that they are on the right side and can't reach to a common conclusion but if look around properly there is a third option .A conflict should be taken as a brainstorming session and resolved together.If one partner disregard or disrespect other partner's decision always, then it damages the relationship greatly. On the other hand, if both listen to each other in a positive environment, that leaves a healthy impact on the relationship. It doesn't matter, how many conflicts you have everyday or every week, the key is how do you resolve them and how effectively.
In the case you do not like a particular behavior or habit of your partner, instead of attacking on the personality , try to address that behavior in a cordial manner.By trying to listening to each other's concerns and be responsive, would lead to a healthy impact. Also, try not to drag the issue when you are agitated, remove yourself from the situation and talk about it after a while when you feel calm and composed.Usually, the common mistakes are not to discuss properly, realizing too late that there are other alternatives and the most important believing that the other person must loose for you to win rather that collectively winning.
Few Things need to be address in this situation:
If both the partners try to resolve the conflicts collectively with a positive attitude , it will definitely help to have a good and healthy relationship.
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| Conflicts are unavoidable in a Relationship |
What I have learnt after so many years is, conflict is part of every relationship but not necessarily always bad . Many times, a conflict can be productive and increases closeness between the two. Most of us try to neglect a conflict assuming that over a period of time things will be sorted out but without handling the issues properly , it may increase the bitterness and can lead to disastrous results. Sometime, one partner is always willing to bend down to keep the other happy, that will eventually leave a negative impact.The best way to deal a conflict is to talk about it instead of running away from it. Most of the conflicts happens because both the partners think that they are on the right side and can't reach to a common conclusion but if look around properly there is a third option .A conflict should be taken as a brainstorming session and resolved together.If one partner disregard or disrespect other partner's decision always, then it damages the relationship greatly. On the other hand, if both listen to each other in a positive environment, that leaves a healthy impact on the relationship. It doesn't matter, how many conflicts you have everyday or every week, the key is how do you resolve them and how effectively.
In the case you do not like a particular behavior or habit of your partner, instead of attacking on the personality , try to address that behavior in a cordial manner.By trying to listening to each other's concerns and be responsive, would lead to a healthy impact. Also, try not to drag the issue when you are agitated, remove yourself from the situation and talk about it after a while when you feel calm and composed.Usually, the common mistakes are not to discuss properly, realizing too late that there are other alternatives and the most important believing that the other person must loose for you to win rather that collectively winning.
Few Things need to be address in this situation:
- Work on your Listening skills.
- Try to resolve the issue collectively.
- Work on specific behavior
- Keep yourself calm and composed
- create boundaries
- Remove yourself from the scene in case of agitation
- Apologize
- Seek counseling
If both the partners try to resolve the conflicts collectively with a positive attitude , it will definitely help to have a good and healthy relationship.
Communication and Trust are two main ingredients of a successful Relationship.
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